I understand that three or four thousand of you intend to take the forthright step of changing your vote from the old and cunning Liberal leader, Mr Howard Winston to moi, via our non-apparatchik candidate for Mitchell, Mr Nigel Gould (no relation to the famed ornithologist that we could find, though we're still trying to examine the

CFMEU records).

Let me assure you that a vote for Rudd Labor will ensure the future of this wonderful nation, your children and grandkids. The tired Mr Winston and his clueless Government is so bereft of any new ideas we can echo with a clear conscience that he clings to outdated workplace laws skewered towards big bosses.

We are committed to reversing the trend, slewing archaic WorkChoices back to those men of lofty ideals who led the nation's skilled workers in their push for freedom from the American way. I count many such men as my staunchest colleagues in Parliament today.

No issue is more central to Rudd Labor's survival, and yours, than changes to Mr Winston's wartime WorkChoice laws. It is only with decent wages and conditions that our economic prosperity can continue. Without reform, the nation will be doomed.

Under my vision, coalmines will spring up like mushrooms in the field; ships in their thousands will jostle for space at our rapidly-expanded ports; office buildings will overflow with contented workers dreaming of lap-dancers in New York; factories will be happy places filled with fairy-lights and bunting, each with its own brightly lit collective

bargaining suite and library.

Rudd Labor will be benevolent, a holier-than-thou government at one with Mr Winston in our reverence of the Hillsong Church.

There will be no tax increases, and home interest rates will drop to record levels trust me on that one bringing home ownership and rental property investment into the reach of every couple 20 or over, gay or otherwise.

Intensive Labor Party research indicates that by 2010 under my Think-Smart Government, petrol prices will drop to 50 cents a litre, and with socialised farming, milk will bottom out at $1 a carton, bread 30 cents a loaf, cigarettes $2 a pack and beer 40 cents a litre, 50 cents for two.

So, vote (1) Nigel and restore our once-great nation to its rightful, righteous place in history, above Iraq right at the top of the heap.